yoyo, leave a message ho!

So I put an Ad in the paper for a Customer Service Representative. I (stupidly) left my phone number, and got 99 voice mails in 2 days.

So begins the Rooting.

Here are Some Interesting pointers that I would like to share with the Jobless Community:

If the Job requires Excellent Communication Skills, your voicemail should be Clear and Articulate- This means:

a. Don't Slobber and chew gum into my voicemail. It gets Sticky.
b. Try not to sound like your a 900 number Service. That can get sticky too.
c. When you leave a voicemail, Words like "yo" and "holla back" are probably ones you should avoid, for now.
d. When leaving Said voicemail, LOWER THE GODDAMN RADIO so I can HEAR YOUR NAME!
e. If you just leave a phone number, you get an automatic delete.
f. if you start the voicemail with " my salary requirements are" I also automatically delete. I mean, its nice be an assertive person who is aware of their worth, but I should know your name before I hopelessly devour your dreams with some fava beans.

this is when i root thought 89 of the voice mails.. But Suddenly, there is that ray of hope. When you leave a voicemail, Sound Promising, and I get all sorts of excited, and call you back. This is where it gets even uglier:

I am calling you back. I understand that you may not be available at the arbitrary time I decide to contact you. however, if you are job hunting, you should anticipate this:

Please don't let YOUR voicemail sound like an amateur rap demo. Unless your applying for an Amateur rapping Position, in which case. Nice beats. But your not hired.

Please don't let you voicemail be a very loud and distorted version of a Song, because you thought it would be cool to hold your phone over a radio instead of making a normal person voicemail.

However, if you are witty and funny and a bit sarcastic, I may hire you. We need more asses in Service and sales.