This is What my Help-Wanted listing would Actually look like:
Retail Electronics Firm Seeks Marketing Assistant. Person must be able to handle me on my worst PMS days, and do all the work that i am, honestly, too lazy to do. Will pick up phone for incessant telemarketers all day, while appeasing all ends of the office by way of revenue reports and sexual favors.
Experience needed: Please be able to type a coherent letter. In English. It would help if you spoke English too. i would like to Request a College Degree here, Or at least SOME college, but that means your gonna ask me for 15/hr plus overtime, and honestly, i don't really think I'M worth that kind of money. I know your from new york, and the cost of living in monumental, but you know what? i don't care. Just because you went to college doesn't make you smart. So shut up..... but i Digress... please go to college, then come work for me. We don't bite. Well actually, Stay away from Janie in Accounting...
Other requirements: Must be absolutely Batty, have multiple Personalities and REALLY good at looking busy. You must make me look good at ALL costs.
Oh, And you should be hot. if I'm gonna look at you all day in dumbfounded irritation, then you might as well be nice to look at.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
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3 comments:
I'd write up a fancy resume but for a job with such duties as sexual favors and looking hot, I think a full-length photograph is more appropriate.
*raises hand* OOOOOOO MEEEEEEEEE!!
I'd be perfect for this job!
I'm hot AND good at looking busy!
Plus, it wouldn't be a change in job, just a change in location!
Sornie :) your right. but in the Actual version of this classified, i requested a writing sample. and a headshot. lol:)
MJ. Great!- when can you start, Im drowning here!
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